Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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