We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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