My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
