youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
