For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
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