So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
