Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
