he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
