ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
