i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
No subtext here. People are naked.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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