Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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