I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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