Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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