I'm going to rape someone's good day.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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