HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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