# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
