it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
