We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
