you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
