She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
