This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Found your dick twin last night
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize