i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
