Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
