is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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