Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
