and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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