i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
