If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I think a kid would responsible me up
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
