im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
