So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I need a burrito and a hug.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
