what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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