dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
