I need help removing her.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
