The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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