what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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