well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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