so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
