I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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