I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
