Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I think I just sharted jello shots
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
