u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
