it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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