You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
