obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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