PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
