Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
