MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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