We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
