Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize