Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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