I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
