Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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