somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize