i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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