he puts the penis in happiness.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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