ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I touched a dick in church today
Randomize
