i just wanna soil my oats bro
It's Friday. Sex?
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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