she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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