Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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